I have promised myself for so long that the next year will finally be the year without my eating disorder, and without self harm. Sadly, this year wasn’t that for me once again..but, it was the year I finally got the intensive help I needed, and committed my time to it. It hasn’t been easy, and it still isn’t easy. It’s been a full time job, and probably more, every single day. I honestly had been in denial about my eating disorder still being present, how much I was manipulating my weight/shape, about how much my PTSD was hurting me and everyone around me, and how much I wasn’t truly living.
I am still figuring this all out, but I am so grateful this was the year I finally gave into the advice of a therapist saying that I needed help desperately..So, here’s to 4+ months of treatment, all the work I’ve done, and all the work that lies ahead in 2019..
I may be leaving 2018 with a lot of new scars, but I’m also leaving it more healed than I went into it. I am still holding out hope that next year, will finally be my year.❣️
